


Dreaming of a White Christmas

by purple_bookcover



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Christmas, Crack, Dirty Talk, Elf costume, Facials, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Santa Costume
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:55:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28268730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_bookcover/pseuds/purple_bookcover
Summary: Felix hates every single thing about dressing up as a mall Santa ... until Ashe asks if he's been naughty or nice.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	Dreaming of a White Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> It's the season of miracles. FEH really released a Felix skin where he's just straight up wearing Ashe's armor. Ashelix confirmed. #bless

Felix tried to grind his teeth into dust. It was the only way to keep from exploding, the only way to keep from lashing out at the humiliation, the degradation, the pure, unfiltered stupidity of this whole gods damned situation.

“You look amazing.” Ashe righted Felix’s jacket with a final little tug then stepped back to admire his wretched work. Ashe clasped his hands in delight, bouncing from foot to foot. “Oh, Felix, you really look amazing.”

Felix ground harder. He’d have no enamel left before this was through, but that was preferable to telling the beaming ray of pure sunshine before him that this was the absolute worst thing he’d ever had to wear. 

Ashe himself was dressed little better. His plastic elf ears wiggled when he tilted his head to the side to contemplate Felix. Every movement jingled thanks to the bells hanging from the ends of his green tunic, a tunic that just barely covered tight, sheer green leggings. Those leggings were the last bastion between Felix and failure, a delicious reminder of why he was enduring this.

“Hm, not quite right yet,” Ashe said.

Felix cringed. What more could he want? Felix was already decked out head to toe in red and white, with archer’s armor on his chest and a damn bell dangling from the ornamental bow he carried. Ashe had shown him how to hold and shoot the thing, but Felix retained little of the lesson. Having a weapon that _jingled_ was one indignity too many. It almost made the pointed hat festooned with mistletoe bearable by comparison. 

Ashe pulled a candy cane from the holster around his waist as he devised Felix’s doom. He slid the end into his mouth, sucking while he thought. Felix dared not fathom what was churning behind those sweet, large green eyes. 

It was the freckles that really did it. It was always the fucking freckles. Felix knew better. He _knew_ something horrible was going on behind that screen of eyes and freckles and lashes, but he also knew he was absolutely helpless as Ashe drew near again. 

He was still sucking on the candy cane, dragging it in and out of his mouth in a stupid, slow motion. No one wrapped their tongue around the cane like that. No one made those wet noises over candy. No one closed rosy lips tight around a thin rod of sugar and hummed like it filled them. 

No one.

Except this coy little bastard.

Ashe dropped to his knees and confirmed Felix’s suspicions by loosening the red pants.

“Ashe, what are you doing?” Felix said.

“Give me a present, Santa,” Ashe cooed.

What the fuck was Felix supposed to say to that?

Fortunately, Ashe didn’t make Felix speak any more. He tucked the candy cane into Felix’s belt and wriggled a hand into his loosened pants to pop Felix free of the ridiculous garment. Ashe licked his reddened lips as he held Felix’s cock. 

“Looks like you aren’t _that_ mad at me for this,” Ashe said.

Felix wanted to grind his teeth. He wanted to grind the damn things to a powder finer than snow. But Ashe didn’t give him a chance as he slid his lips around Felix and lowered. 

He took Felix in just as slowly and sweetly as he’d sucked on that candy cane. Felix grabbed for Ashe’s hair, a bob of silver with two pointy plastic ears poking out of it. The ears were … kinda cute though. That part was OK, Felix supposed, if he really had to call one part of this OK. They made Ashe’s whole face a little more elfin, like he was some charming, otherworldly creature come here specifically to suck Felix off.

Ashe added his hand, twisting down Felix’s dick as his lips lowered. Heat encased Felix’s length, Ashe pressing warm and wet around him. He hummed as he went, some ridiculous holiday jingle. Felix should have hated it, but it sent Ashe’s soft voice vibrating into his gut, shaking loose Felix’s tenuous hold on his dignity. 

And really, what point was there in resisting anymore? Yes, they looked like utter clowns, but Ashe had Felix’s whole cock in his mouth and he was bobbing along it like a hummingbird darting in and out of a flower to lap up the nectar. 

Ashe added his tongue, flicking at the tip in a way that made Felix’s hand seize in his hair, gripping so tightly it had to be painful. Ashe just murmured his weird little tune and kept right on licking at that spot that he knew always got a reaction and left Felix’s legs liquefied. 

Felix hissed in a breath between his teeth, which he supposed meant he wasn’t quite grinding them anymore, merely clenching. “Ashe,” he moaned, “we’re-we’re supposed to-”

Ashe dipped down, swift and merciless, and Felix lost the words he’d been grasping at. He clung to Ashe’s silvery hair instead, helping jerk his head up and down. Felix had to be slamming all the way to the back of Ashe’s throat by now, but Ashe didn’t even slow, devious in his persistence. He even slipped a finger lower, trailing along all the trembling places between Felix’s cock and his ass. 

Then, all at once, abrupt as an avalanche, Ashe pulled off, holding Felix’s aching cock. Felix groaned in distress, throbbing in Ashe’s hand. 

“Ashe, please.”

Ashe looked right up at Felix, through the freckles and the eyelashes, leveraging those big green eyes, and said, “Say it.” 

“Ashe.”

Ashe just smiled, innocent as freshly fallen snow. He gave Felix a shorter stroke, a brief reminder of how tremulously close he was to the end. Then, he waited.

Felix grit his teeth again. They had to be breaking down by now. He pulsed in Ashe’s hand, body begging for release. He knew he could have it. A few words would set him free. Still he mashed his teeth in his mouth, chewed them to pulp.

Another pump. Felix’s knees buckled before he caught himself. He gripped Ashe’s hair, that soft, silky hair, and Ashe moaned, gods damn him. 

Felix opened his mouth. Ashe’s hand moved, just a little. He took a breath, hating himself as the words took shape. 

“Have you,” he started. “Gods damn it. Have you … been … a naughty boy?”

“Oh my,” Ashe said, “I think I have.”

Ashe stroked. Felix let go; there was nothing worth holding onto anymore anyway. And white sprayed in strings onto Ashe’s waiting face, onto freckles and eyelashes and soft silver hair – even the plastic elf ears didn’t escape unscathed. Those big green eyes closed, but Ashe’s mouth stayed open. 

When it passed, Ashe’s tongue made a sweep of his lips, collecting up as much of the mess as he could reach. 

“Gosh, seems like I’ve been very, very naughty,” Ashe said. 

Felix could take no more. He tottered away, hastily fixing the stupid costume, turning away from a cum-covered Ashe with his elf ears and his bells and his gods damned freckles. A few steadying breaths helped ease the strangeness of the whole situation, but it unfortunately didn’t make it less real. He was still here, dressed like this. He was still expected to go out into that mall and wave and smile and sit for pictures. And he still hated every miserable second of it before it even started. 

Arms wrapped around Felix’s middle. Ashe hugged Felix against him, a (hopefully clean) cheek pressed to Felix’s back. 

“Good job, Santa,” Ashe said.

Felix groaned.

Ashe just chuckled, sweet as silver bells. “Still grumbling?”

“Maybe.”

Ashe pulled away, turning Felix around to face him. He’d cleaned up (thank the goddess), angelically innocent with his pointy ears and jingling costume. He took Felix’s hands, squeezing them in his. “You’re gonna do great.”

“I hate this.”

“Then you shouldn’t have lost that bet.”

Felix chewed on his cheeks. 

Ashe tugged on his hand. “Come on, Santa. Let’s get this over with.” 

Felix slouched along, already hating each individual second of his life. Ashe paused at the exit.

“Besides,” he said. Ashe turned, eyes bright in the shadows of the doorway. “I’ve been a _very_ naughty elf. Santa really should do something about that later.” 

Felix gaped, legs numb as Ashe pulled him into the mall.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover) (18+ please).
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


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